its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
