I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So vagazzling was a success
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
