our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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