I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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