Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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