You're my little dorito
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
