My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
