Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
