I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
