People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
how drunk are you?
Several
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
