just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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