tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
