id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize