paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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