Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
