Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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