i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
