gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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