Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
