this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
