I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
