I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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