Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just had sex bonerless
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize