he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
