Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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