under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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