you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
