i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
