and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
