puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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