i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize