After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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