I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
