Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
