I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize