I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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