i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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