good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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