So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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