I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
