Is it normal to miss your booty call?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize