i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
