I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
