i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
