ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
