Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
