My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize