Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
