She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Text me some of your sweat
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