so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think I just sharted jello shots
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