I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
