so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
