I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
