how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize