So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize