Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize