please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
